ommanyte:

Reblog to plant a berry in the soft, loamy soil

Like to return the soil to its soft and loamy state

super-affection:

Things that are canon in the Metal Gear universe

totallynotreimuhakurei:

enkiduofvideogames:

kazuhira-millers:

threadedvolley:

barfy:

wonderfulworldofmichaelford:

• Big Boss employed a man whose sole claim to fame was that he was able to run. Said man also was incapable of jumping since he runs into claymore mines you place on the floor
  
• A man named “Hot Coldman” was a high ranking government official
• There are several mechs that spoke like Vocaloids and sang while attacking
• An astronaut died, was possessed by a pyrokinetic demon, and was able to continue living as a zombie by sheer force of will
• A man had his arm cut off and then replaced it with the arm of his boss, whose ghost then briefly possessed him. Maybe.
• Two United States politicians attempted to use Metal Gears to restore America to greatness. Both men were killed by the same man with a katana
• Nanomachines are pretty much the explanation for everything
• There was a guy who could control bees
• Big Boss discovered the tsuchinoko

• big boss and kazuhira miller invented doritos, mountain dew, and axe body spray. kazuhira miller may or may not have invented mcdonalds
  

• eva kicked ocelot in the face with a motorcycle. not ‘rode up to him and kicked him’, not ‘ran him over with a motorcycle’. she kicked him, in the face, using the motorcycle, as her foot 

• the first thing otacon did upon meeting solid snake was cry, pee his pants, and talk about anime, and they still wound up raising a child together. a success story

• a flaming whale ghost ate a helicopter and no one cared
  

• big boss’s dick is huge and it’s because of nuclear radiation

• solid snake never noticed nor questioned that the president of the united states of america has his exact same face

• tactical wedges. tactical stilettos. tactical lingerie.

• there is a bandana that instantly gives the wearer infinite ammo in their gun, in real life, no one questions this even once

• the president of the united states of america grabbed raiden’s dick

• ocelot scaled the entire height of the white house just to say hi to big boss

• theres a literal actual vampire named vamp, not named so because he is a literal actual vampire, but because hes bi

• theres a guy who spent the entire span of the series shitting his pants and he ends up getting married to an elite black ops commander babe

• an elite black ops commander babe goes through extensive psychotherapy as well as gene therapy to prevent herself from falling in love with men, and still ends up marrying a guy who spent the entire span of the series shitting his pants

• the root of all alien conspiracy theories is a hairless monkey that lives in a tank with a magician

@damndehaan

the dude who was posessed by his boss because he used his boss’s arm? He later cut that arm off and then put a prosthetic on in its place that looked like an arm, then hypnotized himself into believing he was his own boss so as to fool a century old superconspiracy that had created an economy based on endless war.

• Making a gun’s ammunition feeding system look like an infinity symbol makes the gun have infinite ammo and no one, not even the future head of DARPA questions this